Perspective on Life

I know that it has been ages since last I posted an entry. There have been many things that I have been meaning to share, but just haven't gotten around to it -- as you can see. The events of the past week, especially what happened this evening, compelled me to blog -- even though it is now 2.30 in the morning, and I know I don't usually post sombre happenings. In this case, I just had to get it off of my chest.

This past week has been very stressful. Four people in my life have been sent to hospital for various reasons. The most shocking of which was an old family friend, Dottie, that I have known since I was six. She had a heart attack. She's a nurse, and her quick thinking surely saved her.

Yesterday, we received a package from England. I figured it was the shirt that I had ordered from Jack Wills. However, it was addressed to Matthew. As he opened it, I then thought it was bits and bobs from childhood and the like, that his mum had sent over. However, when I went over to see what she had sent, I realized that it was a package from his friend Chris, containing items that had belonged to Chris's brother Ed.

Ed was one of Matthew's best friends who, very sadly and tragically, died three years ago. I never got to meet Ed in person, but had talked to him on the phone, online, and via text messaging. He was the sort of person you loved one minute -- as he was funny as hell, loved animals, and was very kindhearted -- but you could hate the next, when he had been drinking far and above excess, and was high on God only knows what, thus causing him to say and do hurtful things. But even when you hated him, you had to love him.

I'm not sure if Ed ever really knew or could understand just how much Matthew cared for him. Even from across the ocean, Matthew tried to help him. I think in Matthew's mind, Ed was more a brother, than a friend.

No amount of help seemed to be able to save him from himself -- though he did try from time to time to clean himself up. Sometimes it seemed that he might actually make it. . . .

In the end, it wasn't suicide that took him. Though he had threatened and tried in the past. He didn't overdose either. But, a decade of hard drinking and drugs most assuredly caught up to him, causing the trouble that took him.

Ed's brother Chris had said, three years ago, that he would be sending Matthew some things he thought Ed would want him to have. Two notebooks, two photographs, his pipe and tobacco holder, and a Swansea City scarf and jacket. It's very sad to think how these few possessions are a very accurate "picture" of his life.

Matthew plans to have the jacket framed. Perhaps we'll do a shadowbox? Either way, I know we'll hang it in our library. Ed would have wanted it that way. I can just imagine him in our library, pipe in hand, leaning up against the fireplace, spinning some hilarious, ridiculous tale.

I pray you are at long last at ease. I loved you too, you silly, wonderful, twat, you. . . .


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